It matters to us to matter to others, especially as we get older.
New research by sociologists at the University of Toronto highlights the connection between advice giving and life meaning, finding that it’s most pertinent for older adults.
The researchers argue that feeling useful is a key part of living a fulfilling and happy life. No big surprise there, but they go on to say that when we give advice to others, it actually gives our lives more meaning. We feel useful. We matter.
In an ironic twist, researchers found that young adults in their twenties are more likely to offer advice than their older counterparts, probably because of their highly developed social circles. By comparison, adults in their 60s and 70s don’t have as many opportunities to offer advice. Changes in life, such as health difficulties and hearing impairment, as well as changes in social roles (in both work and family life), make it less possible for older adults to offer advice.
The researchers go on to suggest that older people may also hold back on offering advice (like relationship advice or dating advice) because they may feel as if they have little to offer others, especially younger generations. Stereotypes about being ”out of touch” or unproductive may become internalized and shape interpersonal encounters.
Sharing stories and insights with others is incredibly important: it gives our lives meaning, and it can be useful to others.
So speak up and have your say. That’s our advice.
