Some are single by choice, others by circumstance. Regardless of which, a large number of men and women over the age of 65 are single and living alone.
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that more than 28% of adults over the age of 65 live alone, and 46% of women age 75 and older live alone.
If you’ve suddenly been catapulted into the single life, you may feel like an outsider, adrift on an island all your own. The thought of living the rest of your life as a party of one may feel, at times, like a frightening proposition. However, it’s entirely possible to be single and happy in your later years.
As a career therapist who works with couples, individuals and families, I’ve counseled lots of older adults who are single, and wondering how to be happy alone.
I encourage them to concentrate on what I call the four A’s:
1. Attractive
Did you feel appealing when you were in your last relationship? Did you exercise and take better care of your appearance back then? Every day, take time to do something that has you smiling back at the man or woman in the mirror.
2. Accomplished
Make a list of all the things you’ve achieved in your life. These can include graduating from high school or earning your GED, running a successful business, raising great kids, overcoming illness or injury, or maintaining lifelong friendships.
3. Amiable
Do you have a circle of friends who are part of your support team? What about making new friends? Remember, there’s no age limit for allowing people into your life. You can invite new people in by engaging in hobbies you enjoy, such as exercising, volunteering, or attending meetings for social, spiritual or political causes.
4. Amorous
Being older doesn’t mean you have to put the breaks on physical intimacy. After all, sex doesn’t have an expiration date.
You can be happily single. Chances are, it just takes time.
