In a lot of ways, raising children is very similar to how it was 30 or 40 years ago: we want kids to be self-sufficient, productive members of society. However, over the years, parenting styles have changed a lot. Today, spanking is taboo, iPhones are everywhere and courts are determining the age a child can stay home alone.
This change in parenting styles became very apparent to me one summer when I traveled to Texas to visit my husband’s grandmother. We were new parents to a toddler, and she felt we coddled him too much, with too little discipline.
If you’re also questioning today’s softer approach to parenting, consider these monumental societal swings before passing judgment:
Physical Discipline Isn’t Okay Anymore
In most cultures and communities, physical punishment — such as spanking or striking a child — is unacceptable. Many parents have turned to the less-invasive “time out” or “time in” approaches as a form of positive discipline. The goal: give the child time to think about the mistake and process why it was wrong.
Parenting to Create Self-Esteem
There’s a higher focus on self-esteem and individuality, with a societal shift on the acceptance of every child, just as they are. Praise is often a tool used to reward positive behaviors and increase confidence. At school, special care is often given to those who have different learning style needs. Today, individual education plans and second-language support are common. This gives each child a fair shot at success.
Increased Safety Concerns
Regrettably, the days of a child leaving the house in the morning and returning after dark are over. Many parents are fearful about children walking to a friend’s house or playing outside alone. As a result, there are more scheduled activities and play dates supervised by adults, as opposed to unscheduled play.
The Face of the Family Has Changed
Families today are much more diverse, including multi-cultural families, single-parent families and same-sex families. The traditional family model has increasingly changed to one that’s more diverse and accepting of alternate styles.
Less Community
Watching the local newscast and reading media coverage puts a lot of people on guard. Many people have started to keep more to themselves: neighbors no longer visit regularly or take care of each other’s children like they once did.
Electronics Are Everywhere
Kids are into the latest technologies and electronics, but so are their parents. Today, instead of seeking face-to-face advice from friends and family, parents often look on the Internet for parenting tips and advice. Electronics are also increasingly used to occupy children.
There are pros and cons to these changes, just as there are pros and cons to every parenting style and decision. One thing has stayed the same: there’s no right way to parent.
But I do think my husband’s grandmother would be proud of how we’ve increased our children’s responsibilities along with the size of our family.
